Someone came up to us on all fours and made a curious grunting noise about having a book section. So we made them books editor! Here’s their list of Christmas books. Enjoy!
1984 – George Orwell
A rundown of hit singles from 1984. Great section on Bananarama; weaker on Nena Hagen.
Paradise Lost – John Milton
Unexceptional. Has been done before in Alex Garland’s The Beach.
The Very Hungry Caterpillar
Postmodern satire on the ultimately futile pursuit of beauty, and, by extension the physical and spiritual desire for sex. It is more an allusion to negative space than an illusion of it.
The Sea – John Banville
Blue.
Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
Why your flatulence is fine but other people’s isn’t.
The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown
Historical masterpiece. Thoroughly researched.
The Lord of the Rings – J. R. R. Tolkien
Blatant attempt to cash in on the successful film trilogy.
Being Jordan – Katie Price
So, so, so inspiring, I was just so inspired. She’s such an inspiration. Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck What happens when boredom and Huntingdon Life Sciences collide. Makes Pinky and The Brain seem like child’s play.
The Bible
Highbrow James Bond with lead character that just won’t die. Irritating omniescent narrator.
Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy
A doorman at the Underworld Camden seeks a holiday.
An Ideal Husband – Oscar Wilde
Literary companion to “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”.
Mein Kampf - Adolf Hitler
Heartwarming tale of one man’s struggle with his moustache.
Das Kapital - Karl Marx
A useful guide to the must-see hot-spots of Berlin.
The English Patient - Michael Ondaatje
Michael Ondaatje drives a Ford Focus up the A272, asking people he meets why the English are patient.
Birds without Wings - Louis de Bernieres
The author remembers his childhood mutilating pigeons.
Oxford English Dictionary
Hampered by a lack of coherent narrative.