“UCL STUDENT behaves like drunken public schoolboy” is right up there with “Bear shits in woods” in news terms. However, it’s worth reporting, as it seems to be the European Society’s idea of attracting new members. On their pub crawl on Wednesday 5th October, vicepresident Rod Mamudi and a friend of his accosted a fresher and proceeded to grope various parts of her body. They then looked shocked when her friend called them a pair of cunts, put her drink down and left.
Heard of Pirate Soc? No? Fair enough, it doesn’t exist. But they tried, albeit badly. Formed by some intrepid exRamsay Hall inmates, they decided it would be fun to go on pub crawls dressed as pirates, and...er...that’s it. Having utterly mistunderstood how to form a society, they hung around at Freshers’ Fayre trying to get signatures before being thrown out by security.
Undaunted, they held their first meeting. One exhibit turned up and said something like, ‘Oh, i just went to the first Conservative Society meeting dressed as a pirate, they thought it was odd, haw haw haw...’ He proceeded to get rat-arsed, get his cock out and urinate while wandering down the Euston Road, with a procession of pirate devotees behind him.
Hold on to your members, Lacrosse Club!
Send your gossip to cheese_grater_magazine_society@ucl.ac.uk. All information treated in confidence.