The Time Machine

University / 22 September 2013

A Brief Guide to Everything That’s Shit at Your New University

Hannah Sketchley, Bo Franklin

UCL will leave you starving

Students studying abroad were left hungry last term as the payment of their ERASMUS grants was delayed, sometimes for up to three months. Tom Houghton, third year German and His- tory student, complained in July: “I’m so poor I had a breakfast consisting of lettuce and peanut butter.”

The School of European Languages and Cultures, which is responsible for those studying abroad as part of a lan- guages degree, was unaware of the scale of the problem. UCL’s Study Abroad office was reluctant to comment. It has been suggested that the British Coun- cil was late in making the payments but many students claim that the blame has been heaped on them as the Study Abroad Office falsely accused them of failing to submit paperwork.

The ERASMUS programme is named after the Dutch theologian who had to beg for food and books from his friends in order to continue studying. It is intended to support EU students who study abroad.

It’s quite easy to get arrested

A former University of London stu- dent was violently dragged from the ULU Lunchbox Cafe in July after being seen writing with chalk on the pavement outside ULU and on small plaque on the wall of Senate House. The slogans were in support of the 3Cosas Cam- paign which works with outsourced cleaners in Bloomsbury for workers’ rights.

After being pinned down by two uni- formed officers and screaming from the pressure exerted on her, the slight young woman was carried from the building and was then held on the road for fif- teen minutes. Further back-up arrived, taking the number of police officers on the scene to 17.

The woman has pleaded not guilty to two charges of assault on an officer and one of criminal damage. On July 26, University management released a letter banning all protest activity around Sen- ate House, saying it was detrimental to the learning of those using the library.

Malcolm Grant spent your course budget on a party

Outgoing Provost, Professor Mal- colm Grant went out in June with an £18,000 party in the quad. High- lights included performances by ABBA tribute band Björn Again. Guests were treated to t-shirts with a ‘70s mustachi- oed Malcolm on the front.

The festivities were only spoiled by a low turnout. The few staff who did turn up to give one final brown-nose to their former boss reportedly headed home with arm fulls of spare alcohol. If this was a reflection on Grant’s popular- ity, new Provost Michael Arthur might want to start keeping his enemies – and his ABBA collection – much closer.

To sell or not to sell, that is the question

The academic community has praised Professor Henry Woudhuysen, former UCL Dean of Arts and Humanities and current Rector of Lincoln College, Oxford, for writing a letter which was influential in stopping Senate House Library’s sell-off of copies of rare ear- ly Shakespeare folios. The University proposed to auction the 17th-century works to raise up to £5 million.

Those singing his praises seem to have forgotten the cuts Woudhuysen in- flicted on UCL’s Modern Foreign Lan- guages department. A key figure in the Modern Languages Review (CG24), Woudhuysen left a legacy at UCL of redundancies and massive cuts to ad- ministrative provisions. It seems he has more of a place in his heart for books than for students.