Six new sabbatical officers walk into a bar, and don’t pay for their first round... or the next... or the next. Welcome on board the gravy train of UCL Union, wonderfully illustrated by its an- nual Handover Party which was held this year on 29 July.
Wastefulness
Handover is the pinnacle of the perks culture that per- meates UCLU: a £1,500 tab in the Union bar for a beer-fuelled leaving party for the outgoing Sabbs and an introduction into UCLU wastefulness for their re- placements.
Since our six sabbati- cal officers are each being paid £25,000 a year – with additional benefits including a Blackberry contract, council tax remunera- tion and endless rounds of ca- tered lunches – spending a thick wad of Union grant money on their own piss-up seems a tad in- dulgent to say the least.
Clique
Unsurprisingly however, it seems the sabbs wanted to keep as much free booze for them- selves as possible: despite being open to every member of UCLU, the event was advertised only on Facebook and didn’t even make the events section of the Union website. As it was, the £1,500 tab was seen away by a clique of around 60 individuals.
At least for those who re- alised the Handover Party was happening, a free bar was wait- ing. Or rather it was until outgo- ing Democracy and Engagement Officer Mandy Smith decided that ordinary Union members were drinking too much of a tab they’d technically paid for. Smith then dutifully dished out wristbands to ensure that only the sabbs themselves could still access the open bar.
Given the drunken brawl with which the night ended, it seems Mandy would have been better off giving her fellow sabbs a little less to drink, as political tensions exploded into a spat so childish you’d have thought the cast of Bugsy Malone were at the party.
“Get Out Of My Union!”
It all started when Finance and Services Officer Matt Bur- gess decided to wander over to a group of left-wingers, spray them with Smirnoff Ice and scream: “get out of my Union!” While many thought Matt even drinking Smirnoff Ice was child- ish enough, it seems we underes- timated his ability to throw his toys out of the pram!
Not happy with this attack on the Union’s Eastern Bloc, es- teemed leftie Matt Hall respond- ed by throwing beer in Burgess’ face before Jo Casserly (recent also-ran in the election race for UCLU Welfare Officer) walked past and poured a glass of wine right over Burgess’ head.
The whole motley crew was then ushered out of the bar by security, having spunked £1,500 of Union grant money on a party at which they couldn’t even behave themselves. Classy stuff guys!