‘I’VE DONE this before in Council. It can get messy.’ Thus spoke Tom Elliott, Union General Secretary, setting the tone with surprising foresight for an AGM that veered from the surreal to the incredibly dull to the even more incred- ibly un-democratic at the speed of a Sabbatical Suite donut race.
It began by plumbing new depths in the style of the ‘Vote Yes’ referendum cam- paign, whereby the electorate was told simply to approve Reports to Council despite neither having seen nor even been given the gist of them.
Despite a year of what have been described as under- handed referenda tactics, po- litical schisms in the sabbati- cal suite and partisan council splits, UCLU has seldom re- sorted to just telling its mem- bers how to vote on motions without letting them see what they are voting on, but this was just the start of the dem- ocratic degradation that de- fined this year’s annual farce.
Arguably the main event of the AGM was the attempt to pass a motion of no-confidence in Aaron Porter, incumbent NUS President, and NUS de- mocracy, which caused the an- ticipated cross-theatre slanging match. Activities Officer Alex Karski dealt the first blow, de- manding that the motion should not be debated at all ‘when the poor bloke’s on his way out.’
Trustee Rich Brick, who blundered onto the politi- cal stage as leader of the No campaign for the Occupation Referendum earlier this year, argued that it be split into parts to remove the no-confi- dence. He was shouted down in turn by Trotsky Inc member Sol Gamsu for ‘pure partisan politics.’ Some irony there, one feels, given the record of Gamsu as serial walker-outer.
By this point it is fair to say that everyone was lagging a bit and quoracy was called, and called again – and shout- ed in fact– before the elector- ate witnessed Mandy Smith’s swansong as Democracy and Engagement Officer, bawling at everyone to ‘get in your seats and hold up your green cards.’
Thus the AGM descended into a bizarre fusion of a pri- mary school class suffering the misguided rage of a particularly inept supply teacher and a vi- cious visa check, as Smith and her governance minions strug- gled to maintain control and a head count. To nobody’s sur- prise, quoracy failed quite spec- tacularly and, in the manner of an unruly primary school class, the AGM ended not with a bang but with a singsong for Simon To’s birthday. The Cheese Grat- er would like to state that he is looking well for his age. What a bloody interesting meeting.