Students’ Union

Men’s Rugby has been disaffiliated

It is with no small amount of schadenfreude that Soc Bitch can announce that UCL Men’s Rugby has been disaffiliated from Students’ Union UCL. It’s been a trying year for our purple-bleeding lads. After their memorial for feminist icon Hugh Hefner was cancelled, and their Very Respectful attempts at cultural diplomacy went awry, the club …

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Socialist Workers Party secretly run student society

The Cheese Grater can exclusively reveal that UCL Socialist Worker Student Society (SWSS), affiliated to the Socialist Workers Party, is not run by UCL students, but by the old-school Trots at the central party apparatus. The SWP has gained infamy for its efforts in 2011 to cover up allegations that a leading party member, known …

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The show is over for Magic Society

UCL Magic Society has been disaffiliated from the union after a failure to conjure up enough card-carrying members spelled disaster for the group. The unfortunate illusionists had no ace up their sleeve after falling short of the necessary 30 members, and were informed over reading week by union staff that their affiliation had disappeared in …

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Democracy Officer wants lower turnout threshold for union meetings

On 11 October, at the most recent general assembly of SU UCL (not, under any circumstances, to be called ‘suckle’ -ed.), Democracy, Operations and Community officer Mahmud Rahman unveiled a package of proposed reforms to the way the Union operates. One of these in particular, the lowering of quoracy requirements for general assemblies, has caught …

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Cartoon of students voting at the SU UCL General Assembly

Voting shambles

In the first successful SU UCL General Assembly for four years, the Union was saddened to discover that their electronic voting machines were broken. Students were asked whether paper would be an acceptable alternative vis-à-vis confidentiality. At last, technology restores our trust in democracy. Darcy Bounsall

What Is UCL’s Favourite Spoon?

The Cheese Grater held an exclusive interview with UCL provost Michael Arthur to put an end to the ceaseless debates and bitter arguments over the question on everyone’s lips: What is UCL’s favourite spoon? Michael J.P. Arthur: Well, UCL’s favourite spoon is a prestigious spoon. Our spoon of choice is the 7th best spoon in the …

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Online society elections will now be opt-out

Tonight at an Emergency Council Meeting, the debate over whether President and Treasurer elections for societies should go online finally came to a boil.  The two protagonists of the night were former Sustainability, Engagement and Operations Officer, Zakariya Mohran and this year’s Activities officer Ilyas Morrison. The whole saga began in December when Morrison sent …

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iPad debate heats up first successful General Assembly in four years

In a historic night for the Union, Tuesday’s General Assembly was the first since 2014 to which enough people showed up for the meeting to actually go ahead, so that advisory motions could be passed. The biggest talking point of the night was the spirited, sometimes emotional, debate over a motion to prohibit the use …

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We Interviewed Bellogate Expert Mr Replé Aull About Today’s Shenanigans

Interviewer: Mr Aull, thank you for coming in on such short notice. Replé: It is no problem. I have a dedicated laptop signed into UCL’s email system to monitor for such an event. I never dreamed I would see such beauty again. Replé sniffs and wipes his eyes. Interviewer: Quite. This explosive email chain appears …

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Why did only 160 students turn up to that much-hyped General Assembly?

For the fourth year running, last Tuesday’s promised Union General Assembly never took place, because too few students turned up. Though heavily advertised on Facebook as a forum for students to discuss funding for psychological services, campaigns against sexual assault on campus, and NUS membership, only 160 students attended the meeting held in the 900-seater …

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