The Latest from the Satire Team.
Our Humour & Satire Team is the hub for all things funny ahahahhahah. We lack comedic excellence so if you feel like joining this section please do as we need all the help we can get. Cheers – The President.
Cartoon of the Week
Michael Cera. That is it.
The UCL guide to being a covert Oxbridge reject
Lucy Reade 1. Only tell people four of the Universities you applied to on UCAS: During the conversational hell that is Fresher...
Naked Yoga: A Belligerent Ode to the Pussy
Mathilde Turner For the first time in my rapidly lengthening life, a month and a half ago, I moved north of the river to Pimli...
Straight out of Tottenham (Court Road)
Lucy Reade I’d been living in London no less than a month when I had my first harrowing experience with knife crime. I was up ...
Rejected Dissertation Titles
Seth Robinson Medicine: Exploring correlation between constellatory alignments and patient deaths in the ICU: Am I a psychopat...
Silent Night
Izzie Moull Silent night, Holy night All is calm, all is bright Round yon builders, with hammers and drills Ceaseless...
Decor 101
Soyoon Koo Flat-hunting is a nightmarish ordeal for anybody with even a shred of sanity. We search, we scour, we scramble for ...
How to Sound like Your Cyborg Classmates
by Joe Houghton & Co. Picture this: you have accidentally wandered into the wrong lecture room and out of sheer pride you...
Packed Lunches: A Story of Possession
Mathilde Turner Halloween: the one night a year when it’s acceptable, and even encouraged, to want to be someone else. This ye...
Truss is a (Shit) Show
Izzie Moull OMFGG guys! She’s gone! I can’t believe she left so soon tho! Like I know Liz wasn’t the most popular but you coul...
Ode to Sports Night
Seth Robinson It’s Wednesday night - I sway slightly in the queue, Spearmint extra - Sauvignon just passed from mout...
What the Upcoming Mercury Retrograde Means for You
This article appeared in CG issue 83.
Advice to Freshers
This article appeared in CG issue 83.
Clearing the air.
To: cheesegrater_editor@ucl.ac.uk From: daddysemail@ucl.ac.uk (date: 26/9/2022, time: 02:32am) Subject: Disgust, Disappo...
5 Study Spaces UCL don’t want YOU to know about
Have you ever reached the Student Centre at the crack of dawn only to be met with the grim realisation that...
The Cost of Living Crisis: Cheesegrater’s Opinion
Holly Unless you’ve been living under a rock, or in a developed country, you will have heard all about the catastrophe haunting t...
Congrats on becoming a dad Michael Cera ❤️
I won’t be the first to say that Michael Cera is hugely underrated. It’s true that he has somewhat of a mini cult following in som...
Netflix, please stop commissioning Wattpad fanfiction
Look, I get why Wattpad exists. It caters to a big audience. *imagine this narration in Vanessa Hudgens’ voice for the rest of the...
RIP to the Group of Students Traveling to Bath and Stonehenge
Although there have been many a correlation throughout my silly little life, such as that between how much coffee I drink in t...
An Elegy for the £3 Meal Deal
In the last year, prices of household goods have risen by 5.5% on average; the fastest rate in the last thirty years, creating hug...
A little rant about sprinkles
I could go on for days about how classic rainbow sprinkles are an insult to the senses, but I have taken some time off today to co...
Molly-Mae is the QUEEN of QUOTES
You couldn’t have measured my delight when blonde brains, beauty and Love Island icon, not to mention ALLITERATIVE NAME LEGEND, Mo...
Butter on Toast Recipe
Users rated this recipe: ★★★★★/5 stars
Hundreds of people make butter on toast every day. Who doesn’t love easy, cheap, nutriti...
What’sAppening with this WhatsApp shite?
Disgruntled third year aka pensioner
TRIGGER WARNING: MARK ZUCKERBERG
I was content once. I could dip into the group chat fo...
Woman reminded of her own mortality by mild stomach pain during night
A woman has reported being shaken to her core after experiencing moderate gastrointestinal discomfort during the early hours of Th...
You
Hmmm…who are you? Based on your 18th century clothes, you must be some historical figure, someone most important.
You’re holdin...
The Classics, Re-Reviewed
Out with the old, in with the new: a Gen Z-millennial hybrid brings you an unwanted perspective on several ‘classi...
Socialising 101 for Dummies at Uni
Disclaimer: a hearty amount of alcohol will make the next 6 steps much, much easier.
Leave your room! I know the world is a ...
Letters to the Editor
Madam/Sir,
Having lived on this earth for over two decades, my opinion on many things has evolved over time. However, there is ...
An Ode to Coughing
It was my first lecture back and I was so excited, until I felt a tickle in the back of my throat! Oh No! I thought to myself. The...