The Latest from the Satire Team.

Our Humour & Satire Team is the hub for all things funny ahahahhahah. We lack comedic excellence so if you feel like joining this section please do as we need all the help we can get. Cheers – The President.



Cartoon of the Week

Michael Cera. That is it.

What the Upcoming Mercury Retrograde Means for You

What the Upcoming Mercury Retrograde Means for You

This article appeared in CG issue 83.
Advice to Freshers

Advice to Freshers

This article appeared in CG issue 83.
Clearing the air.

Clearing the air.

To: cheesegrater_editor@ucl.ac.uk From: daddysemail@ucl.ac.uk (date: 26/9/2022, time: 02:32am) Subject: Disgust, Disappo...
5 Study Spaces UCL don’t want YOU to know about

5 Study Spaces UCL don’t want YOU to know about

Have you ever reached the Student Centre at the crack of dawn only to be met with the grim realisation that...
The Cost of Living Crisis: Cheesegrater’s Opinion

The Cost of Living Crisis: Cheesegrater’s Opinion

Holly Unless you’ve been living under a rock, or in a developed country, you will have heard all about the catastrophe haunting t...
Congrats on becoming a dad Michael Cera ❤️

Congrats on becoming a dad Michael Cera ❤️

I won’t be the first to say that Michael Cera is hugely underrated. It’s true that he has somewhat of a mini cult following in som...
Netflix, please stop commissioning Wattpad fanfiction

Netflix, please stop commissioning Wattpad fanfiction

Look, I get why Wattpad exists. It caters to a big audience. *imagine this narration in Vanessa Hudgens’ voice for the rest of the...
RIP to the Group of Students Traveling to Bath and Stonehenge

RIP to the Group of Students Traveling to Bath and Stonehenge

Although there have been many a correlation throughout my silly little life, such as that between how much coffee I drink in t...
An Elegy for the £3 Meal Deal

An Elegy for the £3 Meal Deal

In the last year, prices of household goods have risen by 5.5% on average; the fastest rate in the last thirty years, creating hug...
A little rant about sprinkles

A little rant about sprinkles

I could go on for days about how classic rainbow sprinkles are an insult to the senses, but I have taken some time off today to co...
Molly-Mae is the QUEEN of QUOTES

Molly-Mae is the QUEEN of QUOTES

You couldn’t have measured my delight when blonde brains, beauty and Love Island icon, not to mention ALLITERATIVE NAME LEGEND, Mo...
Butter on Toast Recipe

Butter on Toast Recipe

Users rated this recipe: ★★★★★/5 stars Hundreds of people make butter on toast every day. Who doesn’t love easy, cheap, nutriti...
What’sAppening with this WhatsApp shite?

What’sAppening with this WhatsApp shite?

Disgruntled third year aka pensioner TRIGGER WARNING: MARK ZUCKERBERG I was content once. I could dip into the group chat fo...
Woman reminded of her own mortality by mild stomach pain during night 

Woman reminded of her own mortality by mild stomach pain during night 

A woman has reported being shaken to her core after experiencing moderate gastrointestinal discomfort during the early hours of Th...
You

You

Hmmm…who are you? Based on your 18th century clothes, you must be some historical figure, someone most important. You’re holdin...
The Classics, Re-Reviewed

The Classics, Re-Reviewed

Out with the old, in with the new: a Gen Z-millennial hybrid brings you an unwanted perspective on several ‘classi...
Socialising 101 for Dummies at Uni

Socialising 101 for Dummies at Uni

Disclaimer: a hearty amount of alcohol will make the next 6 steps much, much easier.  Leave your room! I know the world is a ...
Letters to the Editor

Letters to the Editor

Madam/Sir, Having lived on this earth for over two decades, my opinion on many things has evolved over time. However, there is ...
In Defense of J.K. Rowling

In Defense of J.K. Rowling

An Ode to Coughing

An Ode to Coughing

It was my first lecture back and I was so excited, until I felt a tickle in the back of my throat! Oh No! I thought to myself. The...
Breaking News: Influencers Have Completely Lost It As Instagram Enters Its 6th Hour of Not Working

Breaking News: Influencers Have Completely Lost It As Instagram Enters Its 6th Hour of Not Working

Monday 4th October 2021, c.10:45pm BST.  Hello and welcome to the totally real and not made up Cheese Grater Live News Report (...
Cheese Grater Admits to Endorsing SU Agenda

Cheese Grater Admits to Endorsing SU Agenda

In light of recent allegations that the Cheese Grater magazine panders to the SU agenda, we would like to confirm that this is und...
Vaguely Finance-related Society Name Generator, On Sale NOW!

Vaguely Finance-related Society Name Generator, On Sale NOW!

Want to work in finance but need to spruce up your CV? Ever heard the term ‘spring week’, given it a Google, and seen fireworks ap...
A Sonnet for Sin Bin

A Sonnet for Sin Bin

Shall I compare thee to A Wednesday Eve For you smell of VK, and of Jager Rough times have meant that you now must leave ...
Teenager X

Teenager X

Teenager X, as written for an American high-school themed TV show by a fully grown adult (sample script) “HEY! You wanna go to ...
LinkedIn Notification: Charles Smith Has Just Posted For The First Time In A While

LinkedIn Notification: Charles Smith Has Just Posted For The First Time In A While

Charles Smith - Bronze Duke of Edinburgh, BSC, MBA, OBE Failure is a part of life. I learnt this in my first year at univers...
‘If’

‘If’

‘If’ - by Rudyard Kipling Stanley Johnson If you can lose your head when all about you Are keeping theirs and not blaming you...
Grammarly: Your Free Online Writing Assistant

Grammarly: Your Free Online Writing Assistant

Writing is NOT that easy, but Grammarly can help. Grammarly’s CUTTING EDGE technology (that means technology that’s at a very adva...
UCL’s Plan to Keep Our Tuition Fees, Exposé by Billy Fresher

UCL’s Plan to Keep Our Tuition Fees, Exposé by Billy Fresher

Hola fellow youths. In all my years dropping in and out of first year at UCL, I’ve never really felt that tuition fees were worth ...
An Anonymous Letter To People Who Don’t Believe in Astrology

An Anonymous Letter To People Who Don’t Believe in Astrology

Dear Astrology Haters, How are you doing? There was recently a new moon in Pisces, which you were unaware of. Did you let go of...