The Latest from the Satire Team.

Our Humour & Satire Team is the hub for all things funny ahahahhahah. We lack comedic excellence so if you feel like joining this section please do as we need all the help we can get. Cheers – The President.



Cartoon of the Week

Michael Cera. That is it.

Top 5 Pisstastic Places Around Campus

Top 5 Pisstastic Places Around Campus

Top 5 Pisstastic Places Around Campus Marian Jago and Nick Miao Have you got a small bladder? Perhaps permanent nerve damag...
Cheese Grater Satire Writer Insists He Is OK

Cheese Grater Satire Writer Insists He Is OK

Nick Miao The Cheese Grater writer responsible for our previous article titled Heartbreaking: The Voices In Your Head Just Mad...
How to be a UCL Medical Student

How to be a UCL Medical Student

Altay Shaw So, you’re studying medicine at UCL. Now that your parents are bragging to your extended family that you are intell...
The Venture to the Void

The Venture to the Void

Keziah Cho On Charlotte Street one finds two households, both alike in dignity. Or at least that’s what UCL accommodation woul...
Keir Starmer… A Day in the Life

Keir Starmer… A Day in the Life

Ben Scanlan Hello everyone, or should I say ‘Oi Oi guvnah!’, My name is Keith Starmer, I’m a normal, ordinary bloke (just like...
Progressive Policy Suggestions for Keir Starmer

Progressive Policy Suggestions for Keir Starmer

Seth Harris and Nick Miao People often say that Keir Starmer doesn’t believe in anything as if that’s a bad thing. What they d...
Fine, Fresh, and Full of Flu – The Diary of a Social Virus

Fine, Fresh, and Full of Flu – The Diary of a Social Virus

Malvika Murkumbi Dear Diary,This year’s crop moved in today! They’re all nervously smiling at each other and swapping Instagra...

DKA Dream

Catrin Jones In the midst of OSCE* season, (and perhaps that was the reason) I slept to a dream of DKA**, Envisioning...
AITA for rebelling against my family and faith by dating a short-sighted girl?

AITA for rebelling against my family and faith by dating a short-sighted girl?

Euan Toh I (21M) am rebelling against my quasi-religious middle-class family by dating a girl who just so happens to be myopic...
Heartbreaking: The Voices In Your Head Just Made A Really Good Point

Heartbreaking: The Voices In Your Head Just Made A Really Good Point

Nick Miao In a heartbreaking series of events, the voices in your head have made a really good point, The Cheese Grater can re...
What UCL Hall are you???

What UCL Hall are you???

Izzie Moull Now you're here and you're all settled into your 'cosy' room you might be wondering is this really the right halls...
Avoiding a Knockout: Advice from a UCL dropout

Avoiding a Knockout: Advice from a UCL dropout

Lauren Klieff If you are thriving and full of enthusiasm to take on a new academic year; congratulations on your relative stab...
All I Wanted Was Some Pesto: The Annual Student Migration Takes Its Toll

All I Wanted Was Some Pesto: The Annual Student Migration Takes Its Toll

Izzie Moull Move in weekend here in London has clearly exacerbated the already delicate situation that Lidl experiences on a S...
Tilly’s Diary

Tilly’s Diary

Izzie Moull Dear Diary, I told you back in September that I was quite shocked that only 3 of the 5 of my flatmates had gone...
The UCL guide to being a covert Oxbridge reject 

The UCL guide to being a covert Oxbridge reject 

Lucy Reade 1. Only tell people four of the Universities you applied to on UCAS: During the conversational hell that is Fresher...
Naked Yoga: A Belligerent Ode to the Pussy

Naked Yoga: A Belligerent Ode to the Pussy

Mathilde Turner For the first time in my rapidly lengthening life, a month and a half ago, I moved north of the river to Pimli...
Straight out of Tottenham (Court Road)

Straight out of Tottenham (Court Road)

Lucy Reade I’d been living in London no less than a month when I had my first harrowing experience with knife crime. I was up ...
Rejected Dissertation Titles

Rejected Dissertation Titles

Seth Robinson Medicine: Exploring correlation between constellatory alignments and patient deaths in the ICU: Am I a psychopat...
Silent Night

Silent Night

Izzie Moull Silent night, Holy night All is calm, all is bright Round yon builders, with hammers and drills Ceaseless...
Decor 101

Decor 101

Soyoon Koo Flat-hunting is a nightmarish ordeal for anybody with even a shred of sanity. We search, we scour, we scramble for ...
How to Sound like Your Cyborg Classmates

How to Sound like Your Cyborg Classmates

Joe Houghton & Co.  Picture this: you have accidentally wandered into the wrong lecture room and out of sheer pride you re...
Packed Lunches: A Story of Possession

Packed Lunches: A Story of Possession

Mathilde Turner Halloween: the one night a year when it’s acceptable, and even encouraged, to want to be someone else. This ye...
Truss is a (Shit) Show

Truss is a (Shit) Show

Izzie Moull OMFGG guys! She’s gone! I can’t believe she left so soon tho! Like I know Liz wasn’t the most popular but you coul...
Ode to Sports Night

Ode to Sports Night

Seth Robinson It’s Wednesday night - I sway slightly in the queue,   Spearmint extra - Sauvignon just passed from mout...
What the Upcoming Mercury Retrograde Means for You

What the Upcoming Mercury Retrograde Means for You

This article appeared in CG issue 83.
Advice to Freshers

Advice to Freshers

This article appeared in CG issue 83.
Clearing the air.

Clearing the air.

To: cheesegrater_editor@ucl.ac.uk From: daddysemail@ucl.ac.uk (date: 26/9/2022, time: 02:32am) Subject: Disgust, Disappo...
5 Study Spaces UCL don’t want YOU to know about

5 Study Spaces UCL don’t want YOU to know about

Have you ever reached the Student Centre at the crack of dawn only to be met with the grim realisation that...
The Cost of Living Crisis: Cheesegrater’s Opinion

The Cost of Living Crisis: Cheesegrater’s Opinion

Holly Unless you’ve been living under a rock, or in a developed country, you will have heard all about the catastrophe haunting t...
Congrats on becoming a dad Michael Cera ❤️

Congrats on becoming a dad Michael Cera ❤️

I won’t be the first to say that Michael Cera is hugely underrated. It’s true that he has somewhat of a mini cult following in som...