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Humour

Humour from The Cheese Grater features satirical news articles, fake (and often libellous) interviews, funny adverts for questionable products, surreal excursions into B-List celebrities’ lives, and soul-searching cartoons.
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    • Humour

    Interview: Jordan “B” Peterson

    • December 11, 2018
    Jordan B Peterson’s overnight ascent from sexless provincial college professor to international cultural icon has taken the world by storm.…
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      • Humour

      Free Bike Maintenance

      • October 30, 2018
      This appeared in CG Issue 63.
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      Dear All, The UCL administrative service for ‘timetabling and dissemination of basic information’ has exceeded expectations this year, yet again! Students are now expected to register with our new online service, the ‘Alternative Bureau for Your Student Services’, or ‘ABYSS’. To add to UCL’s ‘Moodle’ and ‘Portico’, the new ‘ABYSS’ platform is expected to be a place where students can now voice their growing aggravations towards an already terrible and convoluted system. Robert Bodden, the coordinator for student ‘Timetable Worries and Torments’ platform, or ‘TWAT’, says ‘students are asked to gather up their grievances (wherever they may manifest) and throw them as hard as physically possible into the new ‘ABYSS’ system, where within 3-5 business years, someone should get around to emailing you back concerning the nature of the problems.’ Until the system comes into practice, students will be informed that the location of their lectures by the new smoke signalling system that will emanate from the Main Quad at EXACTLY 8.23am each morning. In an effort to streamline the link between both professors and students, UCL has decided to simplify the method as much as possible; lecturers are asked to bring their own firewood (if this isn’t possible, we ask lecturers to instead bring copies of their published works. Editions pre-1975 welcomed, hardbacks preferred.) Should students fail to make it to the smoke signalling extravaganza, they have kindly been asked by Mr Bodden to stop existing in objective reality altogether. Thank you.
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        • Humour

        IMPORTANT: Timetabling Update

        • October 30, 2018
        This article appeared in CG Issue 63.
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        Boris Johnson, Foreign Secretary, speaks from behind a podium, in front of a Union flag, at a press conference in 2017
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          • Humour

          Exclusive: Boris Johnson’s first speech as Prime Minister

          • October 30, 2018
          Draft #64 I have just been to Buckingham Palace, where Her Majesty The Queen has asked me to form a…
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            • Humour

            In conversation with… Michael Arthur

            • October 30, 2018
            It’s Thursday afternoon and fresher Daniel Jones is on route to meeting UCL’s provost Michael Arthur for what could be…
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              • Humour

              UC(tel)L(y)

              • October 30, 2018
              TV Listings Wednesday 7 October UC(tel)L(y) Freeview: 007, Sky: 127, Virgin Media: 132, The Telescreen In Your UCL Room: 001…
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                • Humour

                UCL 2020

                • September 29, 2018
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                  • Humour

                  Health Check

                  • September 29, 2018
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                    • Humour

                    Freshers’ Tube Guide

                    • September 29, 2018
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                    Two UCLouvain students at an Open Day
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                      • Humour

                      #UCLouvain

                      • September 29, 2018
                      Hi there Fr-iend-esher! Have you got any questions about coming to ? Oh, hello. Yes, sorry, this is then? Yes!…
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