Magick Spelles for Everyday Life: Spelle Foure – Protecting Yowre Lockere Of alle the mystick artes, it is the Charmes of Protection that requyre the moste commitment. To simplie want to protecte youre locker is notte enough: yow muste neede to protecte it. I cannotte advise that this charme is attempted by fledgling MAGICKMAKERS. Onlie …
Wow! One magic trick and your locker is protected forever! Read More »
My favourite jams – by Jeremy Corbyn Hello everybody. If there’s one thing we can agree on it is that 2016 was a wonderful year for jam. I personally succeeded in making 12 jams, and if you can email me pictures of the jam you made that would be great. Here is a list of …
“Condiments of the Stars” – This week, Jeremy Corbyn’s Favourite Jams! Read More »
President Donald Trump’s latest executive order has declared February 14th as National Patriotic 10s Day. “To make America great again, America must celebrate the best of what makes America great: 10s; beautiful women. Tremendous,” the written order states. The executive order will “revitalise the American economy” by decreasing seasonal imports on foreign Chinese goods, such …
Speech borrows heavily from former Iraqi President, critics claim President Donald Trump has been caught red-handed in his inauguration speech. The 16-minute address, delivered to a crowd of, quite literally, some people on the 20th January, appears to have lifted a number of lines verbatim from Saddam Hussein’s 2003 speech to the Kuwaiti people. Speaking …
Donald Trump Inauguration Speech “Plagiarised Hussein” Read More »
Now that that whole “election” thing is over, former businessman Donald Trump can relax and enjoy his favourite past-time: writing poetry. When I see you, I see half of me And I’m attracted to that one half, my half. Okay, so I only want to date half of you, But I would date no halves …
When local man Nick Fields was pranked on Saturday, his reaction was just utterly priceless. Paul O’Hara, the prankster in question, did not expect such a priceless reaction. “When I pranked him, I just didn’t expect him to react in that way. Utterly priceless!” Even Fields himself wasn’t sure what was to ensue: “I think …
This man’s reaction to getting pranked was absolutely priceless! Read More »
Always at the vanguard of the London culture scene, UCLU’s arts journal “SAVAGE” presents an exclusive interview with dancing sensation Ed Balls. I arrive at Former Chancellor Ed Balls’ dressing room in the gilded halls of the BBC, my heart racing with giddy delight. Could it be true that I, William, a mere reporter for …
SAVAGE, UCLU’s Premier Arts and Culture Journal, Interviews Ed Balls Read More »
A Cheese Grater Investigations Exclusive The Prime Minister has unveiled a pilot scheme that will require all newborn babies to carry a British passport for inspection upon exit from the womb. The plan is part of the government’s recent efforts to crack down on the so-called ‘maternity tourism’ that has seen foreign newborns taking lavish …
