Three newly elected sabbatical officers have been barred from taking office for their comments and actions in support of Palestine.
KCL and SOAS sack new sabbs over support for Palestine Read More »
Investigations Editor Malvika Murkumbi offers a refresher of your rights as a tenant under the Tenant Fees Act 2019
Did you know you have rights? The Tenant Fees Act 2019 says you do! Read More »
The President and Provost Michael Spence sent another blast email to every UCL student earlier today (15 July) to let us know that his grand ideals of ‘free speech’ and ‘disagreeing well’ stop when they come into conflict with the University’s brand image. Nick Miao, Co-Editor-in-Chief In an email, the Provost said that the University
Ammara Aslam As a chronic eavesdropper, the minute I hear something vaguely interesting it sticks. And when it sticks, I start to dig. This week I happened to overhear two lads squabbling over the ‘disgraceful’ state of UCL Rugby. Although I’d like to think I’ll win not a Pulitzer but the great journalistic honour of
‘It would be a pain if this gets out’: The boy’s club and university rugby Read More »
Andrea Bidnic, Investigations Editor It’s difficult to put into words the degree of urgency of the situation. Imagine a world where Nigel Farage emerges victorious from the general election as he walks into Downing Street with that smug look on his face. Outlandish as this may sound, this worst-case scenario is about to become a
Is it over for France? Portrait of a nation on fire Read More »
The Bitch-er Takes It All! My darling gossip gobblers, did you miss me? I suppose you haven’t seen me in print since my victory over the terrible Tories. They certainly won the most controversial moment of the year with their pathetic ‘port and policy’ debate topics! I do so hate repeating myself so I’ll push
Marian Jago So, it happened again. You started talking to someone you really liked and she seemed to really like you, so you foolishly allowed yourself to develop feelings for her. Or maybe you just chatted her up at a bar before going dead-eyed and lunging. Either way, just when you thought your fairytale romance
So, the Woman You Were Interested In Tells You She’s A Lesbian Read More »
Nick Miao Activities and Engagement Officer Aria Shi, right, pictured tearing up during Questions to Officers at the final Activities Zone meeting on 28th May 2024. Something is wrong with democracy at the Students’ Union. We may have held onto the impressive record of holding the largest student election in the UK, with 11,177 voters,
Cheese Grater Journalist Makes Sabb Cry In Meeting Read More »
Palestinian activists at UCL Stands for Justice (SFJ), a student-led coalition, have escalated their protests, disrupting awards ceremonies hosted by the Students’ Union last week, The Cheese Grater reports. SFJ has been maintaining an encampment on the Main Quad since May 2 2024, with three main demands for the university: As of June 7 2024,
Robert Delaney, Malvika Murkumbi, Mayra Nassef, and Andrea Bidnic A year in student accommodation is a rite of passage for most undergraduate students at UCL. From the luxury of Garden Halls to the abject squalor of Ifor Evans, UCL accommodation is diverse in its residents, rents, and general demeanour. As such, there is a great
Rats, Floods, ‘Fermented Pineapple Juice’: the Trials and Tribulations of UCL Estates Read More »
Andrea Bidnic, Malvika Murkumbi and Mayra Nassef In 2017, The Cheese Grater published an article titled “Teaching on the cheap: UCL’s exploitation of teaching assistants revealed”. This article illuminated the plight of UCL’s Postgraduate Teaching Assistants (PGTAs), PhD students who assist module convenors by dispensing lectures, teaching seminars, and marking assignments. PGTAs currently constitute between
Robert Delaney *On the request of the interviewee, their name has been changed to Ramallah19 On the 20th May The Cheese Grater spoke to Ramallah19, a member of UCL Stand for Justice (UCL SFJ), a student-led coalition dedicated to advocating for Palestinian rights and statehood. On the 2nd May 2024, UCL SFJ, Ramallah19 included, occupied
Rebekah Wright Content warning: discussions of sexual assault and rape All the people in this article have been given pseudonyms to protect anonymity. This includes the UCL ‘Report + Support’ caseworkers. If the pseudonyms overlap with the real names of other caseworkers at ‘Report + Support’ this is purely coincidental. Earlier this year, The Cheese
Malvika Murkumbi A heart-wrenching tale of brotherhood, power, loyalty and redemption, this timeless piece of work has it all. Mike Mitchell’s classic Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011) weaves a tale many screenwriters of his time were simply too afraid to tell when they put pen to paper. While some have disregarded the film’s true
Dayan Mustafa In his attempt to say nothing at all (nothing political, that is) Dr Michael Spence, the UCL Provost, has revealed more than he might have wished about his inclinations––and by extension, those of the neoliberal business who embody the University’s higher management. Many of you will have already read Dr Spence’s latest update:
Mayra Nassef When I think about the evolution of humanity in the 21st century, it can chronologically be categorised into two parts: before Cars (2006) and after Cars (2006). If you really think about it, the release of the first film in the Cars franchise on that fateful day in 2006 marked a cosmic shift
Cars (2006) is a Cautionary Tale of Automotive Revolt Read More »
Lauren Kleiff It’s been a long winter. I’ve struggled to hide in the basement and to stay hidden from dangerous human eyes. I’ve struggled even more though, to stay away from her. Ever since we fought over that stale, moulding pizza crust in Gordon Square I knew she was the one, my one, my alpha.
Nick Miao The Satire Team at The Cheese Grater Magazine is on the brink of collapse following the latest scandal by the UCL Conservative Society. This comes as the UCL Conservatives cancelled yet another ‘Port and Policy’ event in which organisers had hoped to debate the most insane, batshit crazy policy proposals whilst drinking fortified
Izzie Moull UCL’s Cheese Grater Magazine has been given exclusive access to the latest Epstein court documents and can report one surprising name on the list; Climate Change. This name has come as a shock to many, however here at The Cheese Grater we have to ask: should we really be surprised? Although Climate Change
Latest Name Revealed in Epstein Court Documents: Climate Change Read More »
Nick Miao One question I found asking myself and my fellow delegates on our three-day trip to this year’s National Union of Students (NUS) National Conference in Blackpool was, ‘What the hell are we doing here?’ The NUS, the national body representing the collective interests of students in higher and further education, is supposedly the
Rebekah Wright & Nick Miao Hello everyone, Investigations Editor Rebekah Wright, here. I just want to clear up a few things since I’ve recently been the victim of a number of unsubstantiated allegations against my professional integrity (I would know about that because I edit investigations and I am a very serious journalist). I understand
Sirjan Narang and Robert Delaney UCL Action for Palestine (AFP), a Palestinian advocacy group not affiliated with the Students’ Union and with membership from across the student and staff community at UCL, has been at the centre of campus activism in recent months. Their ongoing occupation of the Jeremy Bentham Room highlights the growing tensions
Robert Delaney Higher education is in a bad place. Those reading who were at UCL last year know exactly what I mean. Marking boycotts, strikes and post-coronavirus abnormalities have made this university a nightmare to navigate for teaching staff and students. Yet, despite all the disruption of the last few years, 2023/24 has been hailed
The Bleak Reality of UCL History Department’s Redundancy Crisis Read More »
Rebekah Wright N.B. The Cheese Grater has reached out to Michael Spence’s Office for comment, but is yet to hear back from them Michael Spence is UCL’s supreme leader – as our President and Provost he’s at the forefront of UCL’s national and international image (even if the vast majority of students have no idea
The Provost’s Record on LGBTQ+ Support Sinks to a New Low Read More »
Finley Littlefair, Yash Zodgekar, Emma Begley-Collier, and Sirjan Narang From the picture-perfect Portico to the houses lining Gordon Square, the historical charm of many of UCL’s oldest buildings is what makes them so iconic. However, this allure comes at the cost of accessibility. These buildings often lack lifts, automatic doors, accessible desk space, and many
Unfair Gordon Square: The Problems with Accessibility at UCL Read More »
Robert Delaney The first rule of water polo is to keep your head above the water. Yet, the UCL Water Polo Club is struggling to stay afloat due to the lack of fiscal assistance they receive from the Students’ Union (SU). The club’s inability to pay for regular pool sessions and basic equipment has seen
‘Union Funding Barely Keeps Us Afloat’: UCL Water Polo and the SU Read More »
Nick Miao Sabbatical Officers at Students’ Union UCL (SU) are elected in cross-campus elections once a year to represent the student voice at the highest level, both within the University and the Union. They sit on the UCL Council, the University’s governing body, and collectively determine the strategic direction of the Union, each chairing a
Mads Brown and Zhenya Robinson Content warning: discussions of sexual assault and mental illness [‘Report + Support’] doesn’t exist to help students. It exists to protect UCL from reputational damage. The caseworkers don’t need to decide whether or not I’ve been assaulted. They need to decide whether or not it’s a big enough deal. It’s
Case closed: A Testimony to the Failure of UCL ‘Report + Support’ Read More »
UCL and KCL Tory Socs announced a new “Port and Policy” event this week with the motions for debate being: “This house would invade Yemen” and “This house would sink the boats”. How low can you go! In fact it was such a bad look that The Sun, The Telegraph, a Labour Shadow Minister, and
Mads Brown Students have finally had enough of the transphobic rhetoric which runs rife at UCL. On Friday 24th November, the chant: “Rejoin Stonewall or go to hell, no transphobes at UCL!” echoed across the University’s main quad. In support of trans students, members of Gender and Feminism society, the LGBT network, and Student Socialist
TERF out Transphobia: The IOE and “Academic Freedom” Read More »
Mayra Nassef, Ishita Jainer and Malvika Murkumbi On 13 November, the Metropolitan Police, in conjunction with University College Hospital (UCH), forcibly demolished tents used by homeless people on Huntley Street near the UCL main campus. Ironically, the hospital alleged that it did not request for the tents to be destroyed, but rather urged homeless people
Mayra Nassef As an immigrant, my existence has always been political. To say where I’m from, or even where I’ve lived my whole life, often immediately brings up some essentialist orientalist stereotype in the conversation. Orientalism – a theory coined by academic Edward Saïd in 1978 – refers to the idea that the Middle-East/Asia is
Not a Big Deal – The Plight of an “Oppressed Middle-Eastern Woman” Read More »
Top 5 Pisstastic Places Around Campus Marian Jago and Nick Miao Have you got a small bladder? Perhaps permanent nerve damage in your genital regions? Or maybe you’re just extra hydrated (with the finest spirits offered by Students’ Union UCL). Whatever your reasons, we’re here with a list of the best spots to piss around
Robert Delaney The question posed above is one I often face when confronted about my role as co-Editor-in-Chief at The Cheese Grater. Curious friends, mostly those from outside the university sphere, ask me what the point of student journalism is. What is the raison d’etre behind it all? And I don’t blame them. Student journalism
Untitled rant: Why care about student journalism at UCL? (Subject to change) Read More »
Nick Miao The Students’ Union prides itself on being a student-led, student-owned organisation. But how much do you, the students, know about your Union? Perhaps a better question might be, do you care? To find out, Andrea and I stood outside the Print Room Cafe on a freezing Friday afternoon and gathered some data of
‘Too Lazy to be Energetic’: An Honest Guide to the SU Read More »
Nick Miao The Cheese Grater writer responsible for our previous article titled Heartbreaking: The Voices In Your Head Just Made A Really Good Point would like to issue a statement, of his own volition and free will, to clarify that he is OK. The writer responsible thanks readers for their well-intentioned messages of concern but
Rusheen Bansal “They’re hiring new people when employees are losing hours.” On December 4, spirited chants reverberated across campus as aggrieved black and brown security officers called for an end to UCL’s derogatory outsourcing practices in their latest bout of strike action. Having swapped their shiny blue jackets for crimson vests, the officers raised megaphones,
UCL v. Security Staff: Echoes of Exploitation Ignored by Student Apathy Read More »
Anna Maria Papaoikonomou “When I pointed out what mould looks like, I was called uneducated, ungrateful, and this man refused to interact with me directly or look at me in the eye. Instead addressing all his remarks to my white flatmate (who coincidentally was not called uneducated)”. That’s only one of the mortifying reactions Emily,
God EFS, I’m getting really bored of you lot now. I’ve honestly started to lose track of the amount of times I’ve griped about your gross incapability to be normal human beings. Their latest misbehaviour resulted in them getting kicked out of the freshers fair for handing champagne out. Seriously??? This episode raises 2 very
Altay Shaw So, you’re studying medicine at UCL. Now that your parents are bragging to your extended family that you are intellectually superior to everyone else, it is time to act like it. To help you get started, Altay Shaw, The Cheese Grater’s sole medic, has provided some of top tips for survival your time
Keziah Cho On Charlotte Street one finds two households, both alike in dignity. Or at least that’s what UCL accommodation would have you believe. In fair Fitzrovia where we lay our scene, one hall reigns supreme, and it’s mine: Astor College. But look across from our hallowed door, and yonder lies the opposite existential plane:
Ben Scanlan Hello everyone, or should I say ‘Oi Oi guvnah!’, My name is Keith Starmer, I’m a normal, ordinary bloke (just like you!) who happens to be leader of the Labour Party. I’ve been having a bit of an image problem recently… the words used were ‘Gelatinous’, ‘Boring’, and ‘Off-Putting’, so I was instructed
Nick Miao People often say that Keir Starmer doesn’t believe in anything as if that’s a bad thing. What they don’t realise is that this means he will probably do anything if a private rightwing think tank tells him it’s a good idea. So, we at The Cheese Grater have started our very own rightwing
Malvika Murkumbi Dear Diary,This year’s crop moved in today! They’re all nervously smiling at each other and swapping Instagrams having the Hi-nice-to-meet-you-what-are-you-studying-oh-that’s-so-cool-where-are-you-from conversation, and they have that sparkle in their eyes that you only have when you can breathe through both of your nostrils. Enjoy it while it lasts, my babies. God, I’ve been waiting
Fine, Fresh, and Full of Flu – The Diary of a Social Virus Read More »
Catrin Jones In the midst of OSCE* season, (and perhaps that was the reason) I slept to a dream of DKA**, Envisioning my heroic slay, Or the cool management of it anyway. I roamed the ward with a light step, Whilst groaning, dosed-up patients slept, Alone I skipped between blue sheets, Unconscious of their poppied
Euan Toh I (21M) am rebelling against my quasi-religious middle-class family by dating a girl who just so happens to be myopic (short-sighted). I first met Velma when she and the Mystery Inc. gang visited my university to investigate why the ghost of Jeremy Bentham kept appearing to frighten staff members into submission right before
AITA for rebelling against my family and faith by dating a short-sighted girl? Read More »
Nick Miao In a heartbreaking series of events, the voices in your head have made a really good point, The Cheese Grater can report.The tragedy began when you decided that things were finally going well and that this was ‘going to work out perfectly’. Youclaimed that things had ‘never been better’. Sure, there’d been a
Heartbreaking: The Voices In Your Head Just Made A Really Good Point Read More »
Andrea Bidnic, Adnan Bader and Rebekah Wright Every year, thousands of bright-eyed new students take the obligatory pre-university trip to IKEA to gather a collection of pots, pans, bed sheets and maybe even a tin opener. For many students, life in halls is an iconic and exciting part of their university experience. Whilst flatcest, midnight
Mads Brown, Rebekah Wright and Shaza Hafez On Friday the 17th November, UCL’s main quad was crammed with over two hundred students, converging at the epicentre of the University, all fuelled by a shared conviction. The crowd swarmed the Student Centre, before parading through the south cloisters passionately chanting “Spence, Spence you can’t hide, complicity
“Complicity in Genocide”: Students Call for UCL’s Support of Gaza Read More »
Paige Johnson, Yash Zodgekar, Ary Ris-Luamhain and Rebekah Wright This October, Just Stop Oil (JSO) marked another destination on its Irn-Bru coloured tour of the UK: the UCL Portico. Though the paint has now been washed away, the infamous image of JSO activist Arthur Clifton posed defiantly between orange-stained pillars remains imprinted on our minds.
“Painting the Town Orange”: Just Stop Oil, UCL and Fossil Fuel Investment Read More »
Elettra Plati On 20 April 2023, the UCU’s Marking and Assessment boycott began and after a long summer in which you may have spent too much time staring at your half-empty grade transcripts – anything more than a minute would be too long for such an activity – it finally ended 139 days later on
Rebekah Wright and Nick Miao To protect anonymity, some interviewees in this article have been given pseudonyms from the musical Rent. London is famously the most expensive city in the UK. A decent standard of living can cost up to 58% more than in the rest of the country and if you’ve ever lived in
Rental Roulette: UCL’s Rising Prices and the Student Accommodation Crisis Read More »
Oh, you poor gossip deprived students. I bet you missed me. And with such a large break from when you last heard from me, we have a lot to recap. First however I feel I must clear my name. Although I may be Soc Bitch, I certainly do not participate in beauty contests, let alone
Izzie Moull Now you’re here and you’re all settled into your ‘cosy’ room you might be wondering is this really the right halls for my vibe? If this building were a person, who would it be? Would I be friends with this building?? Well look no further. Simply answer the following 5 questions and keep
Lauren Klieff If you are thriving and full of enthusiasm to take on a new academic year; congratulations on your relative stability! Please relish in your optimism, which is a true strength for someone subjected to life in London in 2023. Retaining positivity whilst hanging about the squalor of your £315 a week house share
Izzie Moull Move in weekend here in London has clearly exacerbated the already delicate situation that Lidl experiences on a Sunday morning driving it to breaking point. Although Local communities had already urged their residents to avoid the area after days of increased pressure and tensions in the aisles many seemed to not take heed
All I Wanted Was Some Pesto: The Annual Student Migration Takes Its Toll Read More »
Izzie Moull Dear Diary, I told you back in September that I was quite shocked that only 3 of the 5 of my flatmates had gone to private school. But daddy is always going on about how refreshing it is to live amongst those less fortunate than us and I thought I’d give it a
Lily Park and Daniel Harding UCL’s refusal to continue working with Stonewall, despite being over a year ago now, still poses a controversial problem to UCL’s stance on their LGBTQ+ policy as well as overhanging issues over the fairness of the vote to leave Stonewall. With LSE also recently ceasing their commitment to Stonewall, queer
The Aftermath of UCL’s Decision to Reject Stonewall Read More »
Lucy Reade 1. Only tell people four of the Universities you applied to on UCAS: During the conversational hell that is Freshers Week, one icebreaker you’re bound to hear is, “Which other universities did you apply to?”. It’s very important that you only mention four universities, and imply that UCL was your top choice. Because
Mathilde Turner For the first time in my rapidly lengthening life, a month and a half ago, I moved north of the river to Pimlico: London’s yummy mummy hotspot. To fit in with our pristinely coiffed, beige wearing neighbours, my flatmate and I decided to book a local yoga class. The alternative, purchasing a lacy
It’s finally happening. After three years of 21-day quarantine policies, dine-in restrictions, and mask mandates, we citizens of Hong Kong are seeing clearer skies. For the first time, trail runners taking part in races such as the recent Hysan Island Hike & Run have been allowed to eat bananas during the competition. This must be
Andrea Bidnic, Mads Brown & Lily Park In a statement made in November, UCL claimed outsourced security staff were “employed under the same terms and key conditions as in-house staff”. Yet, security workers at the picket line from the 14th to 16th November 2022 told The Cheese Grater a different story. UCL introduced outsourcing: the
Exploitation and Inequality: The Plight of UCL’s Outsourced Security Staff Read More »
Anna Maria Papaoikonomou & Neil Majithia If you’ve ever had to change your modules, inquire about extenuating circumstances, or even been through the enrolment process at UCL, you’ve likely realised that the university is far from efficient when it comes to admin. However, the experience of one UCL student in particular highlights just how debilitating
Zhenya Robinson & Finley Littlefair On the 24th, 25th and 30th of November, universities saw the biggest strike turnout in higher education, estimating over 70 000 academic staff taking action and 2.5 million students being affected across the UK. If you’re a returning student at UCL, you are probably quite familiar with the strikes that
Cost of Greed Crisis: UCU’s Persisting Strike Action Read More »
Thais Jones & Aniela Bichot The first time a student hears the term “Effective Altruism”, they tend to assume the best. An act of altruism is an action that is done selflessly, and the fact that a whole organisation is dedicated to that concept is comforting. The Centre for Effective Altruism (CEA) is a large,
InEffective UnAltruism: The Problem with UCL’s Effective Altruism Society Read More »
Lucy Reade I’d been living in London no less than a month when I had my first harrowing experience with knife crime. I was up Tottenham Court Road walking with some friends when we were cornered by a man who wanted us to hand over all our money. I’m sure many readers will already know
Seth Robinson Medicine: Exploring correlation between constellatory alignments and patient deaths in the ICU: Am I a psychopath or just a SUCH a Gemini? Geography: Analysing competing claims for the effectiveness of climate justice – Why the Lorax could absolutely beat the shit out of Greta Thunberg. Sociology: The ethics of cyber bullying: How death threats spare us from Furry nationalism. PPE: Do poor people smell bad?
Izzie Moull Silent night, Holy night All is calm, all is bright Round yon builders, with hammers and drills Ceaseless Labour, work never stills, Study in endless droning Study in endless droning
Soyoon Koo Flat-hunting is a nightmarish ordeal for anybody with even a shred of sanity. We search, we scour, we scramble for our dream flat: a place habitable by human beings, with only a moderate amount of dignity sacrificed. You know how it is…for a place as close as possible to campus or [living priorities],
Joe Houghton & Co. Picture this: you have accidentally wandered into the wrong lecture room and out of sheer pride you refuse to admit your mistake and decide to firm it. Or, you’ve found yourself in a far more common scenario, i.e. on a course where everyone seems leagues beyond you, as if they’ve all
Mathilde Turner Halloween: the one night a year when it’s acceptable, and even encouraged, to want to be someone else. This year, I planned to be a space cowboy. It seemed ideal: all the confidence of the patriarchy with none of the dull footwear! On the night, however, I couldn’t quite commit; no matter how
Izzie Moull OMFGG guys! She’s gone! I can’t believe she left so soon tho! Like I know Liz wasn’t the most popular but you could just see how much potential she had! I mean we all knew she could be no replacement for Boris but he had run his course. The bookies clearly favoured a
Seth Robinson It’s Wednesday night – I sway slightly in the queue, Spearmint extra – Sauvignon just passed from mouth to loo, “ID?” One grunts, “Just here” I say politely, Soft fingertips brush me with a stamp – I think he likes me. Ding! Crammed tight in lift with rugby soc, “Oi Edwin! Reckon I can fill
Vivianne Zhang Wei Lack of awareness about the Students’ Union elections is a persistent problem at UCL, but one candidate in the latest Leadership Race was difficult not to be aware of. If you were on campus at all during the 2022 election season, chances are you either were or saw others get canvassed by
Umair Mehmood, The Underdog Story: How QR Codes Led to Welfare Wednesdays Read More »
Neil Majithia and Elettra Plati Four years ago, the UCL Students’ Union acted on its ban of initiations and disaffiliated Men’s Rugby after the society was found guilty of breaching regulations surrounding peer pressure – having forced freshers to drink heavily and sign NDAs so their initiation ceremonies were never made known. The Union cut
Chun Buckets Everywhere: How Initiation Ceremonies Ruin the Freshers Experience Read More »
Rebekah Wright, Thais Jones, Samir Ismail and Nandini Agarwal To protect anonymity, some names have been replaced with pseudonyms. On the 22nd of September, many students, leaving home for the first time, prepared to move into UCL’s newest accommodation, One Pool Street (1PS). Many were already anxious, if not confused about moving in, as despite being
One Pending Street: Communication Failures Worsen Accommodation Delays at UCL East Read More »
Zhenya Robinson and Samir Ismail UCL’s Bartlett School of Architecture (BSA) has consistently ranked amongst the top in the world for architecture, ranking 1st in the QS World Rankings in 2020, and 3rd in 2022. Aspiring architects across the world flock yearly to the BSA to learn from the foremost Professors in the discipline, who
The Bartlett: Architects of Bullying & Intimidation Read More »
Welcome to all of you enthusiastic freshers and commiserations to the depressed second and third years. It’s time for freshers’ flu, STI’s, and fake friendships. Speaking of the flu and STI’s, apparently UCL Men’s Rugby held a social last year alongside the netball team (invite only of course) centered around speed dating. Now let your
What is it with all you horny, deviant sex pests? Read More »
Samir Ismail, Investigations EditorThe Student Centre is a study spot frequented by most UCL students. It is common knowledge that it is always a challenge to find a space unless you arrive early enough. As such, when a student successfully finds a coveted spot in the Student Centre, they do all they can to ensure
Open Season on The Student Centre: The Lack of Security & Support at UCL Read More »
Anna Maria Papaoikonomou, Zine Editor I can’t ever go back to my first two months of university. Not because I had a particularly difficult time, but simply because I genuinely cannot remember large chunks of my first few weeks as I was constantly blackout drunk. No matter one’s background and upbringing, it seems as though
Marketisation, racism, transphobia, sexual misconduct and poor working conditions were the defining topics of our coverage, and indeed of the Sabbatical hustings. These seem unlikely to disappear any time soon, but as I leave for a year abroad, I hope to return to a slightly better campus.
Sabbatical Officers Hustings: Thoughts from the Chair Read More »
Yet, despite this struggle, many employers continue to promote unpaid internships for students. By normalising this type of work, they are complicit in limiting upward mobility, especially for students from low socioeconomic backgrounds.
Unpaid internships: when did free labour become normalised? Read More »
It is worth remembering that the Sabbatical Officers work full time for a salary just over £25,000 a year. With such an important role and a very fair wage, it is important they take both their jobs and their constituents, that is the student body, seriously.
“He still gets to go out, do his degree, go to the UCL bars and he’s dangerous. He almost killed me. It feels like he would have had to murder me for UCL to actually kick him out.”
I should not be scared to consume alcohol when I am out with my friends in the fear of another person’s hands being placed on my body without consent. It is time that we stop normalising taking advantage of people’s vulnerability.
“Rape is not normal; it is normalised”: A First-hand Account Read More »
I won’t be the first to say that Michael Cera is hugely underrated. It’s true that he has somewhat of a mini cult following in some circles of the interwebs, but I believe that he should be at the same heights as Marlon Brando and Leonardo DiCaprio.
Look, I get why Wattpad exists. It caters to a big audience. *imagine this narration in Vanessa Hudgens’ voice for the rest of the paragraph* I get it, I respect it. Even if no one wants to admit they used to read Wattpad, a lot of us did, which is terrible, but…inevitable?
Netflix, please stop commissioning Wattpad fanfiction Read More »
O Group of Students Traveling to Bath and Stonehenge, Group of Students Traveling to Bath and Stonehenge, wherefore art thou, Group of Students Traveling to Bath and Stonehenge?
RIP to the Group of Students Traveling to Bath and Stonehenge Read More »
Sainsbury’s has upped its milk price, Aldi its fruits’, and most importantly, the Tesco meal deal is now £3.50.
In a culture rife with victim-blaming, coming forward with one’s story and pursuing formal action is itself a courageous act, and may prove crucial to a survivor’s efforts to gain closure.
UCL’s Response to Sexual Misconduct Remains Riddled with Loopholes Read More »
I could go on for days about how classic rainbow sprinkles are an insult to the senses, but I have taken some time off today to condense my thoughts.
You couldn’t have measured my delight when blonde brains, beauty and Love Island icon, not to mention ALLITERATIVE NAME LEGEND, Molly-Mae, revealed that she was a guest on the podcast series Diary of a CEO this week.
When I was all but a sperm cell in my father’s balls, I first eavesdropped on a conversation between my parents. I distinctly remember one of them saying: “I really love this butter on toast.”
The Messenger group chats of my glorious first year have been ousted by WhatsApp, a platform somehow so popular that it is used by every age group, from hip young freshers to Tory MPs and even your great-uncle who despises every other form of social media.
‘I mean, I’m normally pretty healthy,’ she began. ‘I only smoke socially, that is, with friends on most weeknights, and I can’t even finish a whole packet of chocolate Digestives on my own.’
But last night, her surety became not-so-sure.
Woman reminded of her own mortality by mild stomach pain during night Read More »
Between unhappy buyers and frustrated sellers, Depop is fostering a community struggling with over-saturation and exploitation, which begs the question: how did it even get here?
The question remains: if the module leaders are aware that there exists an imbalance, and are also knowledgeable about non-white and non-male thinkers, why do they still fail to produce an inclusive curriculum?
Separate But Equal: Social Sciences’ Superficial Inclusivity Read More »
For my first meeting, I can’t say I wasn’t bored by the show, but I was disappointed by the actors’ performance.
If you want a functional Students’ Union, you won’t get one here. Read More »
The ornate language employed by UCL East’s marketing team is a blatant attempt to conceal the university’s prioritization of commercial reputability and the allure of “luxury” over the education services that it provides to its students.
UCL East: Flowery Promises Conceal Costly Commercialisation Read More »
“[He] leaned over the desk and sniffed [me] in three places, typically where you put perfume.”
Content Warning: The following article discusses instances of sexual harassment.
Violated, Harassed, Ignored: Abuse in Halls by UCL Security Guards Read More »
The short notice, lack of an independent investigation and rushed debate appear to have allowed a small group to wield their personal connections to reverse university policy.
You like attention, you CRAVE the attention from young and old, the locals and the newcomers. Okay, I bite. I googled you the other day. Articles upon articles. You even have your own Wikipedia page.
Out with the old, in with the new: a Gen Z-millennial hybrid brings you an unwanted perspective on several ‘classics’ written by – you guessed it – white men.
Leave your room! I know the world is a big, scary place, but wouldn’t you rather be lost in London at 4 A.M. with no shoes or phone than safely asleep in bed? Easy decision.
In early November, employees at Mully’s Bar discovered Swastikas drawn onto the walls of its bathroom with a caulk gun. This is the most recent example of a rise in racial hostility at UCL.
No Report, No Support: How UCL Fails Victims of Racism Read More »
It is my sincere belief that everyone who actively enjoys a glass of milk has secretly replaced it with a plant-based variant. Or it’s been a lifelong prank.
The term BAME implies that the feeling of ‘otherness’, being non-white, is a sentiment that all ethnic minorities bond over. However, this community is largely imagined.
In July 2021, Gavin Williamson, the former Secretary of State for Education, announced the Conservative party’s plans to cut the Office for Students (OfS) budget for arts courses by 50%.
Government Cuts to the Arts: A Student’s Perspective Read More »
Student participation in SU politics is at a dismal level. This is perhaps most apparent in the fact that many positions in the recent elections were vacant or featured a single candidate.
Student solidarity, or lack thereof? A guide to SU politics Read More »
Whack on your sexy Santa hat, snuggle up to the warmth of EFS in flames, and immerse yourself in some festive goss.
It was my first lecture back and I was so excited, until I felt a tickle in the back of my throat! Oh No! I thought to myself. Then out it came, a massive cough! I could feel all eyes turn to face me, even the lecturer stopped talking! EMBARRASSING!! But wait, what’s this? I
Soc Bitch is in the foulest of moods, and it’s not just because she couldn’t book Mully’s for her annual Christmas gin-shindig. Unless you’ve been living under a UCLove-less rock, you’ll be no stranger to the claims made against Economics & Finance Society (EFS) in recent weeks – claims which Soc Bitch has so far
Do you think your working conditions are adequate? “No! I’m sending this email at 23:59 In February 2018, Jason Murugesu and Peter Fitzsimons wrote in The Cheese Grater ,“a battle is raging at UCL, one that will define the very nature of the university for the decades to come.” Two and a half years later,
I chose Education Studies for my undergraduate degree at UCL. The university has ranked number one in the world for Education for several years; on paper, there was no better place to be. What drew me to the subject was my previous adverse experience with education at school. During secondary school, I was placed in
British universities are in the midst of a transformation. Higher education institutions are competing, like enterprises in consumer markets, to maintain and increase their positions in world rankings. At UCL, misguided policy encouraging endless expansion prioritises reputation over quality of education. This commercialised mindset perpetuates a cycle of expansion that, if not controlled, can jeopardize
Race To The Bottom: UCL’s Commercialisation Comes At A Cost Read More »
Monday 4th October 2021, c.10:45pm BST. Hello and welcome to the totally real and not made up Cheese Grater Live News Report (otherwise known by our snappier name, C.G.L.N.R). The time is 46 minutes past the 22nd o’clock and we are reporting live from sketch in Mayfair, London. Unusually, this beautiful establishment is eerily empty,
In light of recent allegations that the Cheese Grater magazine panders to the SU agenda, we would like to confirm that this is undoubtedly, undeniably, and irrefutably true. The Cheese Grater magazine was founded in with the sole aim of pedalling the lines of SU executives and UCL Management, and not to cover how the
Want to work in finance but need to spruce up your CV? Ever heard the term ‘spring week’, given it a Google, and seen fireworks appear as you realised your dream role is in a large corporation just waiting to be bailed out in the next financial crash? Is the only thing you still need
Vaguely Finance-related Society Name Generator, On Sale NOW! Read More »
If I asked you which Harry Potter book reminded you most of EFS, you might be tempted to say the Deathly Hallows. But, in light of recent events, I would posit the Chamber of Secrets as a more appropriate option. Wily as I am, even Soc Bitch couldn’t get a squeak out of those finance-obsessed
Shall I compare thee to A Wednesday Eve For you smell of VK, and of Jager Rough times have meant that you now must leave But in Wicked Student Nights we will remember. Sometimes too loud, Boom Boom Pow did play And often security doth screamed in my face By chance or nature, every
While researching a mask belonging to the Sande society of Mendiland, Sierra Leone, for an assignment, I was puzzled to discover that UCL’s Ethnographic Collection did not have enough information on this object. Only the most basic details were included in its description: the approximate origin date, source location, and ID number. What truly intrigued
UCL’s Ethnographic Collection: A Road Towards Decolonisation Read More »
Teenager X, as written for an American high-school themed TV show by a fully grown adult (sample script) “HEY! You wanna go to a fucking party???” “I’m not very keen on parties. Besides, I have homework due tomorrow”, replies the one-dimensional protagonist who just moved schools. “Homework?”, *Teenager X* responds perplexedly. “I haven’t done any
In February 2020, Sophia Robinson from The Cheese Grater Magazine interviewed Dr Michael Spence, UCL’s new Provost. Among other things, they discussed tuition fees, UCL’s mental health services, and LGBTQ+ rights on campus. Sophia also questioned Dr Spence on his opinions on freedom of speech – some of which he has previously come under fire
UCL’s apparent cooperation with, and indirect investment in, defence companies complicit in war crimes in the Middle East has become a significant concern for its sizable Arab student body.
UCL’s Role in Human Rights Abuses in the Middle East Read More »
Well, well, well, if it isn’t your favourite drama queen back on campus. Unfortunately, I’ll also be joined by two years’ worth of freshers, but I suppose it’s within their right to go to the Ministry of Sound and get an STI. Speaking of STIs, UCL Men’s Rugby are reportedly back after several years in
Charles Smith – Bronze Duke of Edinburgh, BSC, MBA, OBE Failure is a part of life. I learnt this in my first year at university, when I was rejected from a spring week with Goldman Sachs. However, instead of seeing this as a setback, I decided to use it as an incredible opportunity to develop
LinkedIn Notification: Charles Smith Has Just Posted For The First Time In A While Read More »
‘If’ – by Rudyard Kipling Stanley Johnson If you can lose your head when all about you Are keeping theirs and not blaming you, If you will trust no one, except Cummings, And subjugate all who vote against you If you can hate and not tire of hating; Not lied about, yet the purveyor of
Writing is NOT that easy, but Grammarly can help. Grammarly’s CUTTING EDGE technology (that means technology that’s at a very advanced stage) helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an IMPACT on your reader. In simpler terms, the reader will be left with a GOOD impression. This sentence is grammatically correct, but
Hola fellow youths. In all my years dropping in and out of first year at UCL, I’ve never really felt that tuition fees were worth it. I keep on paying though, because to be a fresher is to be a spring chicken oblivious of the upcoming trip to the battery farm, and money doesn’t really
UCL’s Plan to Keep Our Tuition Fees, Exposé by Billy Fresher Read More »
Dear Astrology Haters, How are you doing? There was recently a new moon in Pisces, which you were unaware of. Did you let go of what has not been serving you? Obviously not, because you still haven’t moved on from your ex (yes, the one that you texted during mercury retrograde). Notice how I know
An Anonymous Letter To People Who Don’t Believe in Astrology Read More »
The pandemic has affected everyone. The news is riddled with stories of people losing their jobs, their relatives and their homes… yet, no one ever speaks about the profound effect this pandemic has had on us: the British middle and upper classes. Due to Covid-19, we have had to endure the loss of multiple ski
1. Students are stupid and Postgraduate Teaching Assistant Secrets (PGTAs) do everything we can to make you feel inferior to us. 2. PGTAs hold a secret meeting in Senate House before every term to decide on measures to destroy your confidence and self-worth. 3. We DO laugh at you behind your back. 4. We expect
Professor Smith’s new book on the consequences of an Oxbridge education is good, given her circumstances. It must have been tough coming from a London university, and she’s tried her best to provide a meaningful contribution to the field. For that, I commend her. It’s always good to bring diverse perspectives to sociology, even if
Book Review: ‘An Oxbridge Education’ (London, Penguin, 2020) Read More »
It is up to us as individuals to educate ourselves about GRT history and culture, and confront the racism and discrimination we see head on.
Discrimination against Gypsy, Roma, and Traveller communities has fatal consequences Read More »
Trigger Warning: Mentions of violence against transgender people. Let’s talk about J.K. Rowling; author of the impossibly successful Harry Potter series, owner of a very cute dog and, of course, fresh-out-of-the-closet “gender critic” (aka TERF aka Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist – aka transphobe if you are feeling particularly daring today). That last bit is actually
What it feels like to be at the centre of J.K. Rowling’s “TERF Wars” Read More »
Students on study abroad programmes have always had to deal with a unique set of challenges, such as visa complications, communication between institutions, and geographical isolation from support systems. While welfare support is more readily available to students studying on campus, there is a grey area when considering the resources available to study abroad students.
Student Support Whilst Studying Abroad: Is UCL Doing Enough? Read More »
Male violence against women must be diminished. Intersectional solidarity is the way forward – a movement of which men must become a part. Trigger Warning: Mentions of sexual harassment, violence, and abuse. She just wanted to go home. Women have felt overwhelmed as events unfolded over the last couple of weeks, beginning with the
Hey you cool cats and kittens – you better get your napkins ready because Soc Bitch is about to spill the tea. We were all pretty outraged by Ayman, the current education officer, posting his campaign on the Student Union Instagram without a platform to his running mates. In this Soc Bitch exclusive we are
Soc Bitch continues to school the Education Officer Read More »
Last night, during a daily I-hate-my-life scroll through Instagram, Soc Bitch came upon a post that shocked her to her core! It seemed that Ayman, the current Education Officer, had used the Student Union account to promote his own campaign for re-election in next week’s Leadership Race. The post, which consisted of a shiny campaign
Please read this article if you DON’T want to hear about the pandemic.
1. Students are stupid and Postgraduate Teaching Assistant Secrets (PGTAs) do everything we can to make you feel inferior to us. 2. PGTAs hold a secret meeting in Senate House before every term to decide on measures to destroy your confidence and self-worth. 3. We DO laugh at you behind your back. 4. We expect
Amidst ongoing problems in the city’s transport network, worrying reports have emerged of multiple gates being broken at Aldgate tube station in the City of London. One elderly man stated that he was forced to jump over the gates with the help of strangers, after his ticket was repeatedly rejected. Others have been crawling under
Is UCL sustainable? And can it be improved much further without addressing the elephant in the room of aviation?
Academia and air travel: how sustainable is UCL? Read More »
