In a historic night for the Union, Tuesday’s General Assembly was the first since 2014 to which enough people showed up for the meeting to actually go ahead, so that advisory motions could be passed. The biggest talking point of the night was the spirited, sometimes emotional, debate over a motion to prohibit the use […]
iPad debate heats up first successful General Assembly in four years Read More »
Although The Times wrote last week that “hundreds of students have protested against University College London’s decision to host two controversial pro-Palestinian speakers”, when The Cheese Grater rocked up at the event we found just one lone man with a considerably sized flag. The talk, given by Miko Peled and Dr. Azzam Tamimi titled “Segregated
Soc Bitch’s most fevered groupies may recall earlier this week her article posted online about a planned joint social between UCL Netball and Men’s Rugby. The event was to be a memorial to the recently deceased Hugh Hefner, he of the soft pornography empire. On Tuesday, the Netball social sec announced a change to the
This summer, the dull purple of UCLU was replaced with the ghastly orange of Students Union UCL, also “not known as” SUUCL. The use of the silly acronym is actively being discouraged by the mastermind of the rebrand, the Union’s Head of Communications, Alex McKee, who sabbatical officers have told The Cheese Grater has a
It’s a story we’ve all heard before: boy-meets-girl; Faustus-meets-Devil; university-meets-murderous scientist. Earlier this month, UCL published an inquiry into its five-year-long tragic relationship with Dr Paolo Macchiarini, superstar scientist. The inquiry tells a story of deception, bribery and crime; a story that Marlowe would have given his right arm for. In the early 2010s, Dr
Inquiry finds UCL should have stopped its star-scientist killing patients Read More »
This evening, the results for UCL’s NUS referendum were announced, though you’d be hard-pressed to find a student who actually knew that such a vote happened in the first place. So much so, the results have been deemed invalid as only 903 people voted. To put that into context, UCL is the second largest university
In honour of the death of his majesty and fabulous lord Hugh Hefner (their words, not mine), UCL Netball are putting their best foot forward and helping womankind end the patriarchy by dressing up as playboy bunnies for their social tomorrow night with, yes, you guessed it, UCL Men’s Rugby. The event’s tagline stating ‘No
UCL Netball & Rugby host Playboy memorial for Hugh Hefner Read More »
Since its inception in 2012, UCL’s campus in Qatar has been a running sore for UCL management. This will come to an end in 2020, however, following the university’s decision not to renew its contract with the Qatari Foundation which surprisingly fully funded the “twin campus” venture. But to call UCL Qatar a campus is
Sheikh It Off: Inside UCL’s Decision To Leave Qatar Read More »
For some weird reason, we all like to one up each other when talking about how much debt we are in to the library. But, as with all high stakes gambling, the house always wins. Last year, the university made just under £370,000 from students in library fines. Considering that fines can start from as
Here’s how much UCL made in library fines last year Read More »
One of UCL’s cleaners (not underpaid or undervalued by UCL or students at all!) shares their experience… When you get to my age, you really learn to hate the young. You know the types – the ‘Ya, ya, yaa’ Quentins, the ‘bro, bro brooo’ Jakes. I’ve cleaned up all their sick – from their chunder
Hurl! Hurl! Hurl! (To Everything There Is a Season) Read More »
As students enjoyed a break over the summer, work continued apace on UCL’s new campus in Stratford, East London — six miles from Bloomsbury. Located on the site of the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, within the broader ‘Olympicopolis’ development, the complex will cost £280m to build and will offer a host of new, ‘multidisciplinary’ courses.
Don’t know what UCL East is? Here’s An Explainer Read More »
Readers Rejoice! Soc Bitch has news for the masses- The long unjust reign of Fencing Club is no more! The brave men and women in the Union and “Clubs & Societies” have at last stood up against the tyrants at Fencing and divied up Fencing’s prime-time Wednesday afternoon, four hour spot in Bloomsbury Fitness, between
Roused into action by being placed 120th in the country for student satisfaction, UCL has thrown its black heart and soul into cheering up its disaffected yoof. One favourite scheme is the much-loved delayed exam timetable release. Every year, UCL thoughtfully reduces the time during which students feel exam stress by simply not telling them
UCL Pioneers Way To Improve Student Satisfaction Read More »
The Cheese Grater is thrilled to reveal that we don’t need to write an article about Bloomsbury Theatre’s renovation as it is surprisingly running right on time. The university’s biggest asset to student arts was closed in the autumn of 2015 when asbestos was found to be literally everywhere. Student performances have since been farmed
“UCL was the first university in the UK to admit women” – surely this has been forced down every fresher’s throat by now? What they don’t put in the brochure, and what The Cheese Grater can exclusively reveal is the massive gender pay gap in salaries for UCL’s highest earners. 196 staff members at UCL
With significantly fewer students on rent strike this year, how did the student group Cut the Rent achieve such an impressive victory? Earlier this year, the student group Cut the Rent, CtR, announced that they had won £1.49 million from UCL in rent concessions. Through extensive interviews, The Cheese Grater can now reveal the inside
The Cheese Grater can exclusively reveal that purchases made under £5 at Union bars and cafes will no longer be subject to card surcharges. The change will take effect next Tuesday on the 1st of August. Alex Mckee, the new Students’ Union UCL Senior Manager, explained that the decision was made as he believed “there
Students’ Union UCL (previously known as UCLU) will hold a referendum this October on whether it wants to remain a part of the NUS (National Union of Students). As usual, we are late to the trend following on Cambridge and Oxford who both held referenda on the topic last year. The decision to hold the
Society Bitch must begin with a rare apology this week. Contrary to the last column, we have been told – repeatedly, neurotically – that Pi Media actually produced three magazines this year, not one. I only mention this so as to not distract from a juicier story: The President of Pi has gone completely AWOL.
UCL know that there is one person who guarantees electoral success: the President of the Islamic Society (ISoc). In this year’s spring elections, five of the seven elected Sabbs had his endorsement. It wasn’t always this way. ISoc began to mobilise in the late 2000s in response to what they viewed as a lack of
For those who still have questions about whether water is wet and whether or not the Pope is Catholic, it may come as a shock to learn that the publication of this year’s UCL exam timetable has been delayed. The arrangements are complex. There are around 83,000 exam sittings to be organised. The ‘technical issues’
Exam timetable delayed, approximately no-one surprised Read More »
Conflict erupted at the March Union Council meeting, as plans were revealed to cut the hours of UCLU’s contracted cleaners by 30% in a bid to cut the Union’s £300,000 deficit by a third. Divisions at Council At March’s Union Council meeting Sustainment, Engagement and Operations Sabb Zakariya Mohran argued that UCLU should prioritise spending
“They push you around the system until you give up. There is no system to help”. These are the words of a UCL medical student who was raped in her first year at university. Her story, alongside many others, exposes a pervading culture of sexual assault and violence that has been left unchecked by staff
The tragic story of how UCL fails victims of sexual assault Read More »
An anonymous letter criticising Sodexo’s management staff, seen by The Cheese Grater, purportedly sent by an employee, has raised alarm amongst Sodexo and UCL Facilities. Addressed to the Provost, and initially sent to Michael Arthur, Rex Knight and UCLU BME Officer Sayeeda Ali, the letter makes several damning claims regarding the treatment of Sodexo employees.
Zero hours, agency workers and rodents: investigation reveals Sodexo staff concerns Read More »
With the Fossil Free UCL divestment campaign seemingly gaining momentum, Provost Michael Arthur and co. are deliberately dragging their feet. Despite promises to Fossil Free UCL that UCL council would “give its Investment Committee an explicit remit to monitor its approach to responsible investment”, comments made by Arthur at the Academic Board meeting on 25th
Jurassic Arth: Dinosaur Provost backpedals on fossil fuel divestment Read More »
In the face of a national campaign encouraging students to boycott the National Student Survey (NSS), which measures the student satisfaction of a university, UCL has pulled back on promoting its completion. In previous years, senior management has heavily incentivised the NSS through prize draws, extensive advertising and financial bonuses for high-performing departments. However, this
UCL provost Michael Arthur has revealed at the latest Academic Board meeting that student numbers will rise by “2% or so” again this year. This would take the total number of enrolled students to above 40,000, cementing UCL’s place as Britain’s biggest university. Arthur also asserted that space will grow by 3%, not enough to
UCL spend millions patching up failing facilities to accommodate rising student numbers Read More »
A covert group of senior academics are plotting a staff revolt over worries that UCL East is endangering the university’s future. Some members of the group, who style themselves as Save UCL Again, or SU(A!), are on the UCL Council, UCL’s central governing body. Sources have told The Cheese Grater that SU(A!) plan to raise
After spending all of Dry January craving a drink, Society Bitch was devastated to learn that Culture Club seem to have forgotten all about their promised Winter Arts Ball. Administrative fumbling saw the date for the ball moved from December to January, but now that February is well underway Soc Bitch is beginning to wonder
1. RESTAURANT INTERIOR. EVENING. Oriental music is playing. Some plucky-plucky nonsense. Dingalingaling. Close-up on woman’s hands. It is clear that she is into kinky sex from her painted red nails. She probably likes going on top sometimes. The woman’s name is FEMALE CHARACTER. A delicate flower. Skin like a new morning, eyes like gently rippled
SHERLOCK SERIES FIVE – ‘THE HOT FOREIGN LADY’: UNAPPROVED ADVANCE SCRIPT Read More »
A UCLU report, released this past week, has laid bare the unfair and exploitative conditions postgraduate teaching assistants (PGTA) experience A startling gender pay gap has also been revealed, along with a big difference between the pay package of international PGTAs and that of their British counterparts. Low Pay UCLU estimates that PGTAs receive an
Teaching on the cheap: UCL’s exploitation of teaching assistants revealed Read More »
At last, there is more news of the much-missed Bloomsbury Theatre, as students were finally briefed on the Bloomsbury renovation consultation process. Simon Cane, UCL’s Director of Public and Cultural Engagement at UCL, Frank Penter, the Bloomsbury’s Theatre Coordinator, and Nick Edmonds, Activities and Events Officer briefed arts society representatives. Also present was Matt Aldridge,
UCL is spending over £1 million pounds on short term solutions in an attempt to solve the College’s impending facilities crisis. Solutions range from booking expensive external rooms, stealing space from halls and building a lecture theatre in the Quad. No Space Student numbers have almost doubled in the past 5 years but teaching space
Society Bitch has learnt that despite organising both the Winter Arts Festival AND the Variety Night, Drama Society couldn’t find a single act worthy of entertaining its legions of fans. Instead, the poor audience had to put up with performances from that very worst of sketch groups, The UCL Graters. Far from a one off, it seems
Society Bitch suffered unprecedented heartbreak this week when it emerged that her beloved Cheese Grater Society had been infiltrated by a journalistic mole. After taking a moment to appreciate that someone thinks us interesting enough to infiltrate, the society evicted the mole from future meetings and banished her to the gulags of barren Tab-eria. The real
