Izzie Moull
Now you’re here and you’re all settled into your ‘cosy’ room you might be wondering is this really the right halls for my vibe? If this building were a person, who would it be? Would I be friends with this building??
Well look no further. Simply answer the following 5 questions and keep track of the number of A, B, C, & D’s you get to find out!
1. Why did you want to go to UCL?
A: Well, Tarquin my older brother came to uni in London and said it was a riot and not nearly as ex- pensive as everyone said
B: Well loads of like really cool Alumni have been, like did you know Coldplay met here?! I think it’ll be a really cool place to express myself artistically
C: I didn’t get into Oxbridge and didn’t want to go that far north.
D: Academics. I want to push myself and get a good degree at the end of it.
2. What do you want to experience in London first?
A: The nightlife. If I’m not clubbing every single night, then this degree isn’t worth it.
B: Shoreditch. I need to meet some like minded artists who can be in my next band
C: The Elizabeth Line. Oh, to feel that sweet smooth purple train gliding underneath central London is all I’ve ever wanted.
D: The Local wildlife. I’ve heard about Parakeets and urban foxes I can’t wait to find out what else I’ll see!
3. Can you cook?
A: Oh god no. Matteo, mummy and daddy’s private chef, normally did all that for us
B: I mean, sort of? But I’d really rather not. In fact, I’d pay so I don’t have to
C: Yes, but I need good quality appliances to rustle something special up
D: Yes. I can cook and I don’t mind sharing my food with mice.
4. You have a 9am seminar. When will you leave?
A: I won’t. Mummy and Daddy don’t really care how well I do they just want me at uni.
B: 8:45 If I’m on time great if not oh well I don’t have to go to everything.
C: 7:30 I need rush hour to experience my learning the right way: depressed, exhausted, and reeling from the stench of some man’s armpit.
D: 8:59. nothing important is said until like 15 minutes in anyway.
5. What level of student squalor can you tolerate?
A: Squalor?? Not for me. No thank you. Daddy will pay to make sure I don’t experience anything like that.
B: I mean a fair bit. It is student living after all. All I ask is that I don’t have to wash up or see anyone else’s washing up.
C: I mean I’d rather not. Like student mess I can deal with, but the hall needs to be clean and modern.
D: I will literally put up with anything. I have no standards and no self-respect.
Mostly A: Gardens.
You have standards and are prepared to pay for those standards to be upheld. You’re a social sort, meals together with your mates are the highlight of your day. You would be the one to organise a ten- nis tournament in the halls with your VERY large group of relatively wealthy friends.
Mostly B: Ramsay.
Yes, we know Coldplay went to UCL. Yes, we know they lived in Ramsay. Please shut up now. You’re artsy. You think living in a dilapidated adds to the ‘vibe’ you’re cultivating. It’s you putting up all those flyers about looking for a guitarist for your band all over campus, isn’t it?
Mostly C: One Pool Street.
You can take the excitement of central London, but you need a moment to yourself at the end of the day. Your love for the tube overpowers your love for sleep. You are 100% a morning person.
Mostly D: John Tovell (Hovel).
You must be mentally falling apart because this place is too. You delight at wildlife. Even if it’s Rats, Mice, and feral pigeons. You don’t mind a bit of tough living just as long as you can stay at the student centre ’til 4 am and only have a 2-minute walk home.