What UCL Hall are you???

Izzie Moull

Now you’re here and you’re all settled into your ‘cosy’ room you might be wondering is this really the right halls for my vibe? If this building were a person, who would it be? Would I be friends with this building??

Well look no further. Simply answer the following 5 questions and keep track of the number of A, B, C, & D’s you get to find out!

1. Why did you want to go to UCL?

A: Well, Tarquin my older brother came to uni in London and said it was a riot and not nearly as ex- pensive as everyone said

B: Well loads of like really cool Alumni have been, like did you know Coldplay met here?! I think it’ll be a really cool place to express myself artistically

C: I didn’t get into Oxbridge and didn’t want to go that far north.

D: Academics. I want to push myself and get a good degree at the end of it.

2. What do you want to experience in London first?

A: The nightlife. If I’m not clubbing every single night, then this degree isn’t worth it.

B: Shoreditch. I need to meet some like minded artists who can be in my next band

C: The Elizabeth Line. Oh, to feel that sweet smooth purple train gliding underneath central London is all I’ve ever wanted.

D: The Local wildlife. I’ve heard about Parakeets and urban foxes I can’t wait to find out what else I’ll see!

3. Can you cook?

A: Oh god no. Matteo, mummy and daddy’s private chef, normally did all that for us

B: I mean, sort of? But I’d really rather not. In fact, I’d pay so I don’t have to

C: Yes, but I need good quality appliances to rustle something special up

D: Yes. I can cook and I don’t mind sharing my food with mice.

4. You have a 9am seminar. When will you leave?

A: I won’t. Mummy and Daddy don’t really care how well I do they just want me at uni.

B: 8:45 If I’m on time great if not oh well I don’t have to go to everything.

C: 7:30 I need rush hour to experience my learning the right way: depressed, exhausted, and reeling from the stench of some man’s armpit.

D: 8:59. nothing important is said until like 15 minutes in anyway.

5. What level of student squalor can you tolerate?

A: Squalor?? Not for me. No thank you. Daddy will pay to make sure I don’t experience anything like that.

B: I mean a fair bit. It is student living after all. All I ask is that I don’t have to wash up or see anyone else’s washing up.

C: I mean I’d rather not. Like student mess I can deal with, but the hall needs to be clean and modern.

D: I will literally put up with anything. I have no standards and no self-respect.

Mostly A: Gardens.

You have standards and are prepared to pay for those standards to be upheld. You’re a social sort, meals together with your mates are the highlight of your day. You would be the one to organise a ten- nis tournament in the halls with your VERY large group of relatively wealthy friends.

Mostly B: Ramsay.

Yes, we know Coldplay went to UCL. Yes, we know they lived in Ramsay. Please shut up now. You’re artsy. You think living in a dilapidated adds to the ‘vibe’ you’re cultivating. It’s you putting up all those flyers about looking for a guitarist for your band all over campus, isn’t it?

Mostly C: One Pool Street.

You can take the excitement of central London, but you need a moment to yourself at the end of the day. Your love for the tube overpowers your love for sleep. You are 100% a morning person.

Mostly D: John Tovell (Hovel).

You must be mentally falling apart because this place is too. You delight at wildlife. Even if it’s Rats, Mice, and feral pigeons. You don’t mind a bit of tough living just as long as you can stay at the student centre ’til 4 am and only have a 2-minute walk home.