Hmmm…who are you? Based on your 18th century clothes, you must be some historical figure, someone most important.

You’re holding a walking stick between your legs. Suggestive much. But why would you need a walking stick? Did you run through my mind long enough? Did I run through yours? Of course not, your head is elsewhere.

You don’t seem to be happy here, in the Student Centre. You don’t like change. You’re a homebody, and yet you want to be seen. Being in a glass box grants you a perfect view of your admirers. It gives you joy, doesn’t it? You like to observe almost as much as I do.

You like attention, you CRAVE the attention from young and old, the locals and the newcomers. Okay, I bite. I googled you the other day. Articles upon articles. You even have your own Wikipedia page. Jeremy Bentham. You want to be seen, heard, known. Of course, I must oblige.

Despite all this, you feel trapped in the spotlight, the glass box. I could offer you a see-through cage that’s more…spacious. And ventilated. I could give you the world if the Student Loans Company would allow it.

I know exactly what you need.

I’ll break you out.

I’ll do everything I must for…