‘If’ – by Rudyard Kipling Stanley Johnson

If you can lose your head when all about you

Are keeping theirs and not blaming you,

If you will trust no one, except Cummings,

And subjugate all who vote against you

If you can hate and not tire of hating;

Not lied about, yet the purveyor of lies;

And lose, so start again at your beginnings;

6 (?) children with a wife, girlfriend and mistress;

If you can fill the interview’s minute

With 60 seconds of feckless stupidity


Which is more my son, you must be

Alexander Boris dePfeffel Johnson.